I thought I would blog about something that has been on my mind of late-pregnancy. I love it! I have always loved being pregnant. I love finally having an excuse to have a tummy. I love feeling life move within me that sometimes is so intense it causes my whole body to move, not in pain, but out of the shear power of the kicks and movements that someone so small can make.  I love grabbing Tyler’s or my children’s hands and putting it to my tummy to allow them to see there really is a baby in my belly (and not just a lot of food like Jacob thinks)  and watching their eyes light up in surprise and excitement. Or taking them to the doctor with me to hear the heart beat and then hear them tell others about it. I love having interesting cravings and giving into them. Everything about pregnancy to me is fun even the aches and pains I joke and whine about because they too act as a source of what may be to come when I am old and can’t move as well ( good reminder of getting and staying fit and active). Anyhow, I guess what I am saying is its all good…until the last few weeks. The fear that creeps into one’s mind that anytime you are completely responsible for a human life and the needs of another person, forget the fact that you have somehow kept three other people alive, it still is there. The constant nagging every time you go to bed or wake up that this might be the day and you aren’t sure if everything is done and ready for the next week or two that it may take you to get back into the swing of things. Sitting there with bags packed wondering if the kids will be okay for the next couple of days especially when they cannot come to the hospital due to new restrictions of anyone under 18 and their germs (as if those over 18 suddenly are no threat and germ less). I am lucky though, I get to experience these things. I get to feel the range of all these emotions. How blessed I am to be a mother and how blessed I am to have a loving husband who supports me through all of this and through the power of the priesthood can provide comfort I need in those fearful times. Lucky to be able to be the first to hold our new baby in my arms and smell that new baby smell, to have them look at me as if to say- Oh you are the one I have been listening to and attached to for the past few months. Oh, what blessings! What a great life I lead. I guess I felt compelled to write these things as a reminder to myself of how good I really do have it. 

Jacob's birth day

Elizza's birth day

Marriah's birth day

See you soon Abram.